WARNING! THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS GRAPHIC SCENES OF WATER TORTURE THAT SOME READERS MAY FIND DISTURBING.
This morning the following coded message was intercepted from Cadence Multisport:
"Warm Up5 x 150 Swim, Kick, Pull, Scull, Swim4 x 50 Build on 1:15 Kick10 x 50 on 1:30 #3,5,7,9,10 FastPull3 x 200 Endurance Pace- Rest Interval :30- Breathe 3,5,3,7 by 50sSwim4x (300 SubLT Pace RI :10) (50 VO2 RI :30) Cool Down1 x 200 EZ"
With the help of Naval Sea Systems Command intern (and keen swimmer), Stephanie Brown, this code has been broken revealing one of the worst Human Rights violations since Tiananmen Square.
Additionally it has been discovered that yesterdays strength training, which involved finding my maximum lift capability for various strength exercises, turned out to be a ruse to 'soften me up' ready for today's beatings. After the maximum squat and leg press exercises yesterday I woke up this morning feeling as if I had been doing the twist all night.
Having broken the code it looked as if the swim workout was going to start out easy enough.
Warm Up, 5 times 150m. The first 150m, Swim - easy-peasy. The second 150m, Kick - i.e. grab a float and kick up and down for 6 lengths - Okey-Dokey. The third 150m, Pull - i.e. put a float between your legs and swim using just your arms - not a problem. The fourth 150m, Skull - skull?? It turns out that they want me to swim 6 lengths by flapping my hands. This is a ridiculous way of getting to the other end of the pool. I must have looked like a real plonker and I would have been quicker through the water if I had farted my way down the pool. Last 150m, swim again.
I got through my warm up and the next set was 10 times 50m kicking. I am terrible at kicking and have spent a year swimming pretty much without kicking at all. We are therefore trying to get me kicking more during the practices. This kick session was 50% slow 50% fast. The first fast interval was hell on my legs and then it went pretty much down hill from there.
Next it gets really disturbing 3 times 200m pull (fine), breathe 3, 5, 3, and 7 by 50's (what on earth does that mean). Turns out that they want me to breathe on my 3rd stroke then my 5th stroke then my 3rd then my 7th!!!! This is your basic run of the mill water torture i.e. holding the victims head under water (albeit by email).
To finish me off they wanted 4 sets of 300m sub lactate threshold pace followed 10 seconds later by 50m all out VO2 max pace. Sub lactate threshold is a fairly quick pace but I think I may have crept over my lactate threshold because by the third set I started to slow down involuntarily. I realised that they had beaten me I warmed down called out my Name, Rank and Number and left the pool. It was not a proud moment but it at least brought an end to the torture.
Next week I get to do it all over again :-) By the way swimming is probably my least favourite of the 3 disciplines.
This morning the following coded message was intercepted from Cadence Multisport:
"Warm Up5 x 150 Swim, Kick, Pull, Scull, Swim4 x 50 Build on 1:15 Kick10 x 50 on 1:30 #3,5,7,9,10 FastPull3 x 200 Endurance Pace- Rest Interval :30- Breathe 3,5,3,7 by 50sSwim4x (300 SubLT Pace RI :10) (50 VO2 RI :30) Cool Down1 x 200 EZ"
With the help of Naval Sea Systems Command intern (and keen swimmer), Stephanie Brown, this code has been broken revealing one of the worst Human Rights violations since Tiananmen Square.
Additionally it has been discovered that yesterdays strength training, which involved finding my maximum lift capability for various strength exercises, turned out to be a ruse to 'soften me up' ready for today's beatings. After the maximum squat and leg press exercises yesterday I woke up this morning feeling as if I had been doing the twist all night.
Having broken the code it looked as if the swim workout was going to start out easy enough.
Warm Up, 5 times 150m. The first 150m, Swim - easy-peasy. The second 150m, Kick - i.e. grab a float and kick up and down for 6 lengths - Okey-Dokey. The third 150m, Pull - i.e. put a float between your legs and swim using just your arms - not a problem. The fourth 150m, Skull - skull?? It turns out that they want me to swim 6 lengths by flapping my hands. This is a ridiculous way of getting to the other end of the pool. I must have looked like a real plonker and I would have been quicker through the water if I had farted my way down the pool. Last 150m, swim again.
I got through my warm up and the next set was 10 times 50m kicking. I am terrible at kicking and have spent a year swimming pretty much without kicking at all. We are therefore trying to get me kicking more during the practices. This kick session was 50% slow 50% fast. The first fast interval was hell on my legs and then it went pretty much down hill from there.
Next it gets really disturbing 3 times 200m pull (fine), breathe 3, 5, 3, and 7 by 50's (what on earth does that mean). Turns out that they want me to breathe on my 3rd stroke then my 5th stroke then my 3rd then my 7th!!!! This is your basic run of the mill water torture i.e. holding the victims head under water (albeit by email).
To finish me off they wanted 4 sets of 300m sub lactate threshold pace followed 10 seconds later by 50m all out VO2 max pace. Sub lactate threshold is a fairly quick pace but I think I may have crept over my lactate threshold because by the third set I started to slow down involuntarily. I realised that they had beaten me I warmed down called out my Name, Rank and Number and left the pool. It was not a proud moment but it at least brought an end to the torture.
Next week I get to do it all over again :-) By the way swimming is probably my least favourite of the 3 disciplines.
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